Monday, May 5, 2008

MARRIAGE MONDAY (1ST EDITION)





Make room, my precious readers, for a new addition to our Mondays. Usually, you know I have Mommy Mondays as my own theme every Monday, but I found this wonderful blog http://www.chrysaliscom.blogspot.com/ that does Marriage Monday once a month. This is such a wonderful feature on her blog, and she invites others whom are interested and want to share, to join in. I loved it enough to join in right away. It's been a blessing to me to read the posts on her blog site. So, just once a month, we will cut into our regularly scheduled program (Mommy Mondays) and join in the warmth and fellowship at Chrysalis and celebrate that gift called marriage. Look out below for our first installation. The theme this month: THE CRAZY WAY WE MET

Below is a snippet of what e-mom at Chrysalis wanted us to do. You can join in too!!



Call for Submissions: Would you like to share your experience in marriage with other Christian women? Our community of Marriage Monday bloggers is a diverse group of joyful, Godly women. We are young, old, seasoned, and newlywed. And we’d love to hear from you! You're invited to join us for Marriage Monday on May 5, 2008.
Easy Guidelines: The
Marriage Monday meme meets here at Chrysalis the first Monday of every month. Similar to a group writing project or blog Carnival, bloggers post their thoughts on specific topic, and then link up here. Afterward, participants enjoy visiting as many other linkers as they have time for.
Your Courtship Story: Our topic this Monday will be, "The Crazy Way We Met." Here's your opportunity to share the dramatic (or dull) opening moments of your dating relationship. Remember, the details of your story may be ancient history to you, but to us—it's news!Please tell your story any way you want. You could even create a photo essay, or a song or poem. The idea is to reflect on how God moved to bring the two of you together to share the greatest adventure of your lives: marriage.
Please Bring A Friend.


Now I can share with you OUR story.

I was a single mom working two jobs supporting my family when I met my blessing. I worked at the Christian school my children attended to pay their tuition, and I worked the evening job to pay bills. The evening job is where I met my husband.


God had His hand in this from the very beginning. I wasn't looking for anyone in my life. It was full enough with children, work, church, and extended family. I had been hurt a lot in the past, and though God had healed my wounds, I wasn't about to take the chance in letting someone inflict another one possibly. I protected my healing very well. Besides, He had made me so content alone. He had provided my every need, and I didn't need anyone else. I wasn't against men, I just didn't need them necessarily, because God was so good to me. He filled every void in my life. A good place to be right? Well yes and no. It is good to be comfortable with yourself, it is good that you recognize that God is your ever-present priest, provider, and protector, yes, these things and more are all good, but, I didn't hold myself in a position where if God wanted to give me what He thought I should have next on my journey, I would accept it. I had gotten too comfortable, not leaving myself flexible where God could operate even the more. After all, what else did I need? I didn't even want anything else except a house of my own (we were renting) for the children and friends from church to be able to come over and fellowship. God had other plans.


My usual shift was 4pm to 12am. For a few days this month though, something unusual happened. My co-worker needed off of her day shift (she rarely needed off) and knew that I would be happy to take her shift and find a sub for mine so that I could get off a lot earlier and go home to spend more waking hours with my kids. Her shift was 8-4. Yeah for me!! I was to get off early for a few days (I think it ended up being around 3-4 days). Well, little did I know that a man had been assigned to come in during this day shift months prior, from the local police dept., to pick up and drop off regular employee and sensitive information to and from two detectives that now had offices in our building. Everyone during the day shift knew him, but he was a complete surprise to me. Apparently, since he knew everyone, when he saw me, I was a complete surprise to him.


He comes in the first day of my temporary, new shift, going about his normal routine: stopping at the front desk (where I would be working when I finally walked in) and signing in, stopping there briefly to speak to everyone, going upstairs to the detectives mailboxes, coming back down to chat briefly again, then...I come across the street, ready to enter the building. I didn't know he had been watching me cross the street. This would have been the time that he was supposed to be delivering mail upstairs. Well, for some reason, he decided that it wasn't quite time to go upstairs yet:). BTW, my husband had been and still is an ordained pastor, was single (obviously), raising his daughter by himself after his ex-wife had left him years prior, and had been praying that if the Lord intended for him to fall in love again and get married, to let him know it and make it clear.


I entered the building and everyone stopped talking. What I didn't know until later is that they stopped talking and were staring at him stare at me, because, he is a major talker and if he stops talking, turns and stares, everyone wants to know what had to have gotten this man's attention. I walked in and felt that feeling that you have when you know that everyone is looking at you. You start seeing if you have toilet paper sticking out of your pants (I had on denim capris), if your shirt is inside out (I had on a Memphis Is Famous For... t-shirt), if you've got gum stringing from under your shoes (I had on white, leather Keds), or if your hair is all messed up or something (I had a really short, layered, feathery cut that I liked on me). Wonder if I remember what I was wearing that day:)


I rounded the desk where I would be sitting, and he had already asked someone, "Who is she?" They kindly responded, "She is one of two single, Christian women we have working here, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." Is that obvious or what?!! He smiled (biggest, prettiest, widest smile you've ever seen!!), spoke to me, shook my hand, and proceeded to finally go upstairs. On his way up, he stops halfway and reads the back of my shirt, which had "Memphis" on it. The crowd from downstairs had dissipated by then and he had gotten up enough courage to make conversation. "I see you have Memphis on your t-shirt. I've never been there, but I'd like to go. Are you from Memphis?" Me: "Yes, I am," trying to keep the conversation short you know. Remember I wasn't looking for anyone and I wasn't about to fall for anyone either.


After a little small talk, he went about his business and finally came back down. He asked, "Why haven't I seen you here before? I come in everyday. I'm used to seeing someone else at this desk." I explained to him about the temporary switch and he ended the conversation with some brief sentence and a smile and then left. "Very nice to meet you Ms. Memphis," he says. That was it until the next day. He says to me later that as hard as he tried on his own that night, and as hard as he tried to pray me away if God didn't want me in his mind, I just wouldn't go anywhere. How precious!!


Well, he continued to make small talk each day that he saw me for the next few days. He would add a little more to the conversation, though I still wasn't adding much back. I would answer his questions politely, but I tried not to make my answers too interesting so that I wouldn't be indirectly inviting him to stick around. Yes, I noticed eventually that he was a very clean-cut, polite, Godly, handsome, sensitive, thoughtful, funny man, but I wasn't trying to; I wasn't going to let that on, and it wasn't going to affect me because again, I wasn't looking for this. Plus, God had not made it clear that this is what He wanted for me. At this point, I probably was not going to let God make this clear to me, although I was open for Him to show me any and everything else.


I eventually went on vacation for a couple of weeks after these brief, day shift days were over. My family from Memphis had come, and I was ready to relax and enjoy them. Hubby-to-be wasn't giving up though. There was no "out of sight, out of mind" for him. He simply could not get away from the thoughts and images of this Godly woman who seemed very distant, but nice, polite, straight-forward, no-nonsense, motherly, caring, and, in his own mind and eyes, so beautiful! To this day I tell the man he needs more than reading glasses if he thought that, but hey, who am I to try and change his perception. This is the only time that him living in a lie works for me:).


With lots of "behind the scene" help and work, he and the "conduit" co-worker of mine worked on getting my phone numbers and him some more "nerve" to call me while on vacation. I thought they had lost their minds!! In his defense, he kept telling her that he didn't want to do that. She convinced him eventually, otherwise. Poor guy. I practically chewed him out (in a "righteous" sort of way, of course:)) for having the nerve to disturb me while on vacation. But, for whatever reason, I talked to him for TWO hours that evening on the phone. I was completely shocked and taken aback, and so was my visiting mother and sister. They knew me well, and they knew that this was highly unusual.


We started talking regularly on the phone, because he would not be seeing me on the day shift anymore. I chose to stay "closed" and "hard to get," but God started to do an amazing work in me that started to chip away at my walls. Let me tell you, I did not like it. I had never resisted an obvious work God was trying to do in me before, at least not to this degree and not consciously. I just knew I had to be fooling myself, and that I needed to quickly get over this. Closing myself off was quite easy for me. I was doing a good job. Well, I was. But, God is stronger. He continued to reveal things to me, assure me, show me, comfort me, show me that He would still be my everything, despite the fact that he was bringing into my life this man (whom, by the way, I was slowly falling in love with--Oh my word!!--not me!!). He had to show me His reasons and then, He presented hubby to me as a gift, the icing on the cake that He had already been providing me the whole time. He showed me how hubby would fit in my life and why. God was my everything, and for the things he wanted me to have and experience for the rest of my life, hubby was how and whom it would happen through. He knew I needed a husband for the fulfillment of His plans for the rest of my life, and He knew my husband needed a wife for the plans He had for his life. God knows EVERYTHING AND IS SO PERFECT, plain and simple!!


We finally got engaged after a few months and set our wedding date to June 24th, 2006. The rest, my dears, is history. For we know the plans God has for us...


The pictures above (because I tried to put them below, but that didn't work, plus, I'm still new to this blogging thing and don't know what I'm doing!) are from beginning to end: a later and "staged" picture of how we met at my workplace, engagement picture or a proposal picture, and a wedding and reception picture. I don't know how to enhance photos so, you get what you get...SORRY! Enjoy, and it's been nice recalling this story. Probably not as interesting as some, but it's ours nonetheless.
I am grateful to God for this gift of a husband I have. God, thank you for knowing what I need when I need it. Keep being God in my life. That's just as it should be.
I forgot to mention that by September of the same year that I got married, I no longer worked at the place where I met my husband. God had me there by divine appointment because I had been at my workplace 3 years, learned a lot of stuff I would need later, met my husband on a shift I had never worked before in those 3 years, and then God called me home to be a full-time SAHM and wife. I left in September knowing that God had had me in that place just long enough to meet my husband and then move on. How cool is that?!!


21 comments:

jennifer in OR said...

What a story! What a wonderful, persistent man! I love that divine appointment of the early shift so you could cross paths. Warms my heart, thanks for sharing this.

Peculiar said...

Jennifer, the man was truly persistent, but in a quiet sort of way. He waited on me for as long as it took, knowing that I was the one for him and that God would work on me. Thanks for stopping by and sharing in my story.

the160acrewoods said...

awww what a beautiful story! I'd love to see that as a movie! lol
i love your pictures!

Lori said...

I just loved your story. Plus, I loved this paragraph

You start seeing if you have toilet paper sticking out of your pants (I had on denim capris), if your shirt is inside out (I had on a Memphis Is Famous For... t-shirt), if you've got gum stringing from under your shoes (I had on white, leather Keds), or if your hair is all messed up or something (I had a really short, layered, feathery cut that I liked on me). Wonder if I remember what I was wearing that day:)

I must come back to read more of your blog. : )

Sheila said...

I love your story!!!

I see how God caused you to be fully satisfied with Him, like He says in Hosea, He'll allure her into the desert and there He'll speak comfort to her. Sometimes God has to draw us into utter dependence upon Him before He can give us relationships and ministries that are just outworkings of the inward work He's already done. He was your provider before you had your husband, and He provided you a husband to be your provider (and much more) and so God is STILL your provider!

I just loved reading your story!!
Thanks for joining MM. I hope to see you again!

Sheila
(thanks for your encouraging comments on my post too :)

e-Mom said...

What a beautiful, wonderful story! I enjoyed every word. You tell it all so well. You two seem so perfectly suited for each other!

Thanks for sharing all your great photos. And thanks for interrupting Mommy Mondays for Marriage Monday toay, Peculiar.

Hugs and blessings,

e-Mom @ Chrysalis

Connie Marie said...

I enjoyed reading your love story. I am glad you decided to join MM's.

May God continue to bless in your marriage.

Andrea said...

You are a beautiful couple with a great story! I love how you refer to hubby as your "blessing". I think I'm going to start calling my hubby that as well! Your post was a pleasure to read.

Peculiar said...

My friend at 160acrewoods, it would be very interesting to say the least as a movie. I'd like to see it to. Thanks for stopping by.

Lori, thank you for reading my story. He and I both, to this day, remember exactly what we had on. I guess we were paying more attention to each other than we thought. Come back and read any time.

Sheila, you said it all. My thoughts exactly. Thanks for stopping by. You will surely see me again. I'm glad I joined MM too.

e-mom, thanks again to you for stopping by my blog. You have come up with such an incredibly great idea. I think I'm really gonna love MM. I sure have so far. God did perfectly match hubby and I up, and I am so grateful. Interrupting Mommy Monday for Marriage Monday was my pleasure.

Thank you Connie Marie, for stopping by. I'm glad I joined too.

Andrea, thank you so much. Hubby truly is my blessing. Sometimes I think I don't recognize it enough. You are welcome to start calling your husband "blessing" right away my dear. Thanks for stopping by.

A Stone Gatherer said...

So Cool! I love your story! I love the fact that you had everything you needed in God! So may women feel they need a man to complete them. I believe God completes us! He should be the lover of our souls! then look at how he blesses!

KELLY said...

What a story - or should I say testimony to the faithfulness (and creativity) of God?

Thank you for stopping by my blog - you can bet I will be adding you to my list of favs!

Peculiar said...

My friend at A Stone Gatherer, Thank you for stopping by. God was so good to me as a single woman. He spoiled me so good that I almost missed a wonderful blessing in having my husband.

Kelly, this is a great testimony of God's. Our union certainly was created by Him and belongs to Him. Thanks for adding me to your favs. I really appreciate it. I'm not the best blogger. I just do what I can and pray somebody enjoys some part of it, some time or another.

April said...

That is so cool! Our God is truly amazing and has our BEST interest at heart all the time.

Constance said...

I LOVED your story! Isn't God awesome?! Like you, I was not looking for love when He gave me my own blessing! It wasn't until I had finally surrendered everything to God, broken and hurting that He gave me what would be an unbelievable gift! God bless our tenacious hubbies is all I can say! I look forward to visiting you again!
Connie

Melly said...

Your story was such a blessing. I loved reading it. Thank you for sharing it with us!

Roo said...

wow! GOD BLESS YOU! what a gift.

MiPa said...

Welcome to Marriage Monday! What a lovely story. Bless you for sharing.

Peculiar said...

April, you said it. He sure does, thankfully. Thanks for stopping by.

Constance, thank you. Funny how when you let go and let God, things just work out, and they work out so beautifully. I'm glad I surrendered (and daily surrender)my life to the Lord. Thanks for stopping by. Come back any old time.

Melly, thank you for reading my story. I enjoyed writing it. Stop by again.

Roo, thank you. God constantly "wows" me and hubby is a gift. Now if I can just remember that all of the time or as often as I should. God will help me.

mipa, thank you. I've enjoyed MM. I hope to join in the next one. This has been quite an experience reading others' story. Thanks for stopping by.

Sarah said...

What an awesome story of God's timing! Thanks for sharing it all. :-) Every detail made it even better.

And I also do "Mommy Mondays" and tore myself away to write about marriage. I will have to check back with you every Monday!

Homemanager said...

The Lord knows how to bless us unexpectedly! Thanks for sharing your story! Glory to God!

Peculiar said...

Sarah, thanks for stopping by. Please do check back with me on Mondays. I hope I don't dissapoint by not being able to post on some Monday, because priority called.:)

Homemanager, He does bless us unexpectedly, and I am so grateful. Thanks for stopping by.