HUMOR ME SUNDAYS (#8)

SOMETIMES MY KIDS SAY THINGS THAT CRACK ME UP, BUT I SHOULD BE OFFENDED OR AT LEAST BOP THEM OVER THE HEAD!!

Okay, so I tease my son about dressing up like a teen or an Irish folk dancer (to prove a point we were making) with the short skirt, suspenders, and blouse. He says, "Please don't! Nightmare, images, visions; they'll haunt me, traumatize me, and scar me for life! I think you'd better leave that alone." Then, "Mom, plus, I think the clothes would fit everywhere but one place, and that place would cause your skirt to hike up when you walk and that's scary! Images again, Ma, images...killing me. Please, don't do it." My son's 15. Are you surprised?

My 7 year old niece tells my about to be 18 year old son, "You think you're grown now, but you're not. You're just a pseudo adult. You're a pretend adult. You're a "wanna-be." We didn't even know that she knew these words, let alone the meanings.

What do you think about my two boys, when they were pre-teens, playing in my hair while I was driving (they kept getting out of their seat belts behind me), not telling me exactly what they were doing nor how my hair looked, waiting until we get to Wal-Mart, letting me get out (while they're cracking their sides the whole time) in a hurry to get something, and I find out that they had twisted and braided my hair in random places all over my head. The braids were sticking out like horns everywhere, and needless to say, people in the store thought I'd lost my mind and the boys really thought that was funny. I asked them, while still in the store, what everyone was either laughing or looking at me so strangely about. They wouldn't tell of course. I asked, "What did you guys do to my hair?" No answer but peels of laughter. I get back out to the car, looked in the mirror, and realized that I looked like an alien version of Pippi Longstocking. Just evil I tell ya!

Give me something humorous and crazy your kids or family members' kids have done to you. Boy, you gotta love them, or...bop them over the head.

HUMOR ME SUNDAY (#7)

You want to know how I've been humored this Sunday? Well, I'll tell you anyway. This weekend, in the blogosphere, there was an event called the Bloggy Giveaways. This is where literally hundreds of people post on their blogs something that they want to give away...FOR FREE!! How nice! How many things in this world are free? The only thing you had to do was go to their blogs, see what they were giving away, and comment on their blogs if you liked or were interested in what they had for a giveaway. I can't tell you how many I checked out, but I was on my computer longer than I've ever been since I've owned a computer. I never spend that much time on a computer.

Anyway, if you win something, the host blog would email you to let you know. Well, here is how I was humored today. I WON SOMETHING, and I wasn't really supposed to. What do I mean? Well, I went on http://www.thingsyoudidntdo.wordpress.com/ and Jen Campbell, the blog owner, was doing a Goods 4 Girls Giveaway, that is, Jen decided that instead of giving away something, she would ask people to post or comment who were interested in making sure someone else in "need" got something. She is making sure that underprivileged girls in Africa have access to sanitary napkins. They are called Lunapads. Anyone that commented on her post would have, courtesy and at the expense of Ms. Campbell, Lunapads sent to Africa in their honor. How neat is that!! So I did win in a way, and so did some girl in Africa that I don't even know. Well, to make this even better, Jen decided that since I was expecting nothing at all, she would give me something anyway-3 organic handkerchiefs from Lunapads. Well, needless to say, I was thrilled, I really got something for...well something, because it sure wasn't for nothing!! I got the knowledge and happiness that somebody I don't even know got something that they needed, and I got something else just for caring about that. Praise the Lord!! How precious. Well thank you Ms. Campbell.

Humor Me Sundays is usually about something we can laugh and smile about, a joke, something we've heard that makes us smile, etc. Well, I was really humored today because this did make me smile! I can't wait to see my handkerchiefs!!

Have a blessed Sunday!!

HUMOR ME SUNDAYS (#6)

I've done Art Linkletter before, for Humor Me Sundays, I know, but I must do him again. I really enjoy his humor with children. I can do something else, but I found some more "old" humor that will hopefully still be just as fresh and funny today as it was when his book was published in 1961. I love to laugh and I love good, clean humor. That, my dears, never gets old, wouldn't you agree?

Art says: A girl in the third grade was having trouble doing her arithmetic without counting on her fingers, so her mother tried to teach her to do sums in her head.
"Close your eyes and imagine you see a blackboard," the mother told her. "Do you see it?"
"Yes," said the girl.
"Now write your problem on it. Do you have it written down?"
"Not yet," the girl said. "I can't find the chalk." (I love it!!)

In another excerpt that I love from his book, Art says, Any parent knows that children are absolutely ingenious at inventing excuses. The average mother hears more plausible explanations for misdeeds in one week than a traffic judge hears all year. Let's listen to some of these inventive minds at work: A boy's mother told him, "You mustn't pull the cat's tail like that." "I'm only holdingt it, Mom," he said. "The cat is pulling."

Asked why he always gobbled his food, a nine-year-old explained: "It tastes so good that I want to eat all I can before I lose my appetite."

A mother asked her daughter, "Why can't you behave like Sally next door?"
"Because she's a doctor's kid," the girl said.
"What's that got to do with it?" her mother demanded.
"The doctor always keeps the best babies for himself," the girl replied.

I hope you've had a wonderful Easter Sunday, whether you're with family, or it's just you and Jesus. If you're not a believer, it's still you and the Lord because HE IS ALIVE and real, whether you believe in Him or not OR whether you know of Him but haven't trusted Him as your Savior. I pray you know Him and celebrate the risen Savior today!!

HUMOR ME SUNDAYS (#4)

A PARENT'S 10 COMMANDMENTS

I thought I'd share with you today a parent's 10 Commandments of how not to be bothered by your children at inappropriate times and how to lay down the law for them concerning things in life. You can borrow these if you like. :)

1.) Thou shalt not bother a parent when a parent is on the phone (which is when the kids like to bother parents) or the consequence will be that you will be ignored at the very least and perhaps have the parent talk to you on the other end of another phone while you talk to your friends!!

2.) Thou shalt not beg a parent for money above and beyond what you've already gotten for allowance or have been given out of the goodness of the parent's heart. The consequence will be that you work off every penny you get or you will become the borrower, we're the lender, and you have to pay back with interest. (Is that Biblical?:))

3.) Thou shalt not ask a parent if you can do something with your friends at the last minute and in front of the friend (putting us on the spot). The consequence will be that the answer is an automatic "NO."

4.) Thou shalt not tell us that you need money for school or field trips, etc. the day of. The consequence will be that you don't get to go on the field trip, and you get to stay at the school with the other kids who did the same thing and clean the school building or do extra school work by the teacher left behind that didn't want to put up with you in the first place.

5.) Thou shalt not tell the parent that you need a whole month's worth of permission slips and other things signed NOW (that have been folded or balled up in your backpack), or you'll lose grade points or get in trouble with the teacher. The consequence is that you get in trouble with and deal with the consequences spelled out by your teacher.

6.) Thou shalt not think at every point that your agenda is more important than the parents' and commands immediate attention. The consequence: A statement like..."It's not and it doesn't!"

7.) Thou shalt not roll eyes, talk back, and huff and puff when a parent is correcting or advising you. The consequence will be that you'll be huffing and puffing from the "pop" that caused your eyes to be literally rolling across the floor as we talk back to you and tell you that you'd better not do either of these 3 things again.

8.) Thou shalt not ever think of using the emergency 911 numbers on the keypad because of the above consequences. If you do, the consequence for the 911 respondent will be that they'll have to take you home with them and put up with your eye rolling, huffing and puffing, and talking back.

9.) Thou shalt be grateful for this type of upbringing. The consequence: It will make you better. Sounds like it should doesn't it?

10.) Thou shalt understand that with all these rules, we STILL LOVE YOU!!

HAVE A GREAT SUNDAY!!!

HUMOR ME SUNDAYS #2

What a wet Sunday we're having here in Tennessee!! We must find something to humor ourselves for sure!

Remember today is the day you humor me with your clean, funny jokes, something else you'd like to share, something cool and/or interesting you overheard this week, etc.

Remember Art Linkletter, author and former talk show host of Kids Say the Darndest Things? No, I wasn't around when the book first came out, but I've seen old clips of the shows and I have two of his books, and I think some of the segments on the comments some of the kids made were really cute and funny. I'll share some with you for old times sake...

Art asked a girl named Catherine(aged 11), on the issue of dating:
"Catherine, what do you think of going steady at the age of 11?"
"I definitely don't believe in it."
"Why not?"
"You can't marry him, so why bother?"
Spoken like a huntress!


Another one:
"Jo Ann, you're eleven. What do you think about going steady?"
"You shouldn't until you're at least thirteen or older. Otherwise, it's stupid," she says.
"I see. Do you go steady?"
"Why yes."


Here's a young lady, says Art, who reduces romantic problems to their fundamentals:
"Louise, what's your idea of a good husband?"
"Well, I think he ought to be a man."


Last one for today:
Art says six year old Steven is catching on in a hurry. Art asked him what he would do if a girl chased him, and he said that he would run.
Art: "But if she were pretty, Steve, would you still run?"
Steve: "Yes, but not too fast!"

Have a good Sunday you guys!!

HUMOR ME SUNDAYS

Okay guys, humor me! I'm brand new to this blogging thing and I know I don't have the most decorative and addictive blog out there, but have some pity on a girl!! Tell me something...SHARE, SHARE, SHARE!!

I've declared every Sunday to be "HUMOR ME SUNDAY." You have to give me your funniest clean joke, a comment to one of my posts (whatever is on your heart and mind about it), the coolest thing that happened in your world the previous week, something you're grateful for, something else wonderful on your heart, or something that you've learned, you'd like to share. HUMOR ME!!! I insist:)! This will be our only focus on Sundays, so you'll have something to look forward to. I can't wait to read everyone's post!

I'll start us off this Sunday.

I'm grateful for people,...people who have pity on small-time, amateur blog starters like me; pity enough that they decide to comment and cause a blog starter's days to come with a little more happiness and cheer! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?! Oh sorry, I got a little carried away. I'm humble:). I've got it together. Everything's all good! Okay, now YOUR TURN!