SISTER SECRETS

I was just sitting here thinking about what to say to my audience today and my two sisters popped into my head. I guess I can assume that it is because I miss them so much. My sisters live in West Tennessee, and I live in East Tennessee now.

I would like for you to get to know them through this post and picture and see why I think the Holy Spirit put them on my heart today. I think about them often, but I've got something special on my mind today, concerning them.

My sisters and I grew up vastly different, personality-wise, and I'm now glad we did. I've learned so much from them, good and bad:).

As beautiful and innocent as they look on this picture, these are some serious chicks (or seriously something:) ).

One will kill me for letting you in on this but, she once beat a girl up in Kindergarten, with a Dr. Scholl's wooden clog (remember those? which color did you have?) because the girl was aggravating her and my sister had asked her several times to stop. She wailed on the girl so hard with the shoe, the school considered the wooden shoe a weapon from then on and literally banned the wearing of the shoe at the school. So because of my sister, we or any other girl for that matter, could no longer wear these fashionable (okay fashion faux pas) shoes to school again, EVER! Guess which of these sweet-looking innocents did this! (I'm the one in the middle, freshly married; the "innocents" are my maid and matron of honor)

The other sister is a loner, but when forced to "take care of business" or react to something, she is a act now-ask questions later type girl. She may not even ask questions later. Just depends. Anyway, her story is that once when we were younger (I won't say when:) ), my parents were divorced and my mom had started to date this man. Keep in mind, we were very protective of our parents and each other, and you weren't likely to get away with mistreating one of us once us girls found out. Nothing would be the same again. No, we weren't trouble makers, or nuts, or gangsters, or heathens, etc. (well...maybe we are nuts), we just simply loved each other, okay!! Work with me here!! Anyway, the man had said something to my little sister that he shouldn't have, and she told my oldest sister and I about it. We decided that that wouldn't work so, my oldest sister suggested that we go to my mom's house, where he happened to be that day (mother didn't know what we were going to be doing) and tell him off. Two young girls taking care of adult business--imagine that!! When we got there we threatened him and told him that we would have our dad come over and beat him up (or shoot him, which is more than likely what my dad was prone to do--wonder where we got our attitudes and personalities from--or I wonder where "they" did--this isn't me people, this isn't me:) ) if he ever said anything out of the way to our little sister again. My oldest sister did all of the talking, but boy was I there to back her up:)!!!! We put the fear of God in that joker that day!! He was scared of OUR dad!! My mom never found out that we did this. (She might now though...LOVE YOU MA!! We did you a favor, don't ya see now? Our intentions were good!)

While I'm just so innocent and never pulled the same pranks and beat people up like my sisters did, boy do I admire these girls' spunk and boy did we have fun!! I'm not sure if we even knew how much fun we were having then, but as we talk, laugh, and reflect back now, we know that THESE WERE THE DAYS:)!!!! WE DID HAVE FUN!!! I wouldn't trade these experiences with them for the world. My sisters' personalities gave my life a quality that I didn't understand or appreciate as much then as I do now. Because we know that all of our life experiences count, (they shape and mold us into the adults we are now) I'm sure that what my sisters imparted to me to this point has turned me into something. What that something is, is the question:), but thanks for your contribution anyway sisters:)! Even with all of your craziness, I think or I seemed to have turned out okay, thanks in part to you! If nothing else, I've got plenty of stored up ideas on how to "take care of business," just in case...;)

WEDNESDAY WISDOM

Are you interested in your role as a man or a woman? Do you think you have these roles down to a science? How do you know? What can you gauge it by? Is there a big difference between men and women? Can you just look at society and your immediate surroundings and environment to figure these things out or get it right?

All of these questions can be answered pretty clearly, leaving nothing to question if you look in the right place for answers or verification. The Word (Bible) really does contain clear and true descriptions of the differences between male and female, although Genesis 1:26-27 does identify the SPECIFIC ways in which we were created equal. Our first goal should be to accept the Word as truth (because it is) so that we can have something firm and sure to go by. The next thing to do would be to investigate; look for those "gold nuggets" of wisdom and truth in the Word that will take us on a journey that will answer all of the above questions. We all need something we can wrap our fist around and hold tightly as truth. We all need assurance.

Society has too many options and choices. How can you know and trust which one is right? There is no one "right" answer in the world. According to it, everything is "right." It just depends on what you want or what society dictates at the time. Is that enough for you? Wouldn't you want the assurance of a single, right answer for whatever question you might have concerning who you are and what that should look like versus a plethora of choices and then you've got to figure this whole thing out yourself? How can you trust you get it right? I couldn't trust myself. After all, I'm just human (imperfect) and how often do we get things right? Who wants to take the chance when you CAN get things right 100% of the time ( at least when we're looking for and practicing truth)? The Word holds the 100% truth 100% of the time. Where else can you get those kind of guarantees? Nowhere in the world!!

We could discuss in post after post after post true female and male roles as dictated by the Truth, but for the sake of space and time, let me just leave you with this: Don't let society dictate to you who you are and what that should look like. Don't let anyone tell you that there are no one right answers to all of the questions posed here. God created male and female, and how He designed them, why He designed them, and the order he designed them in was no accident. After all, God doesn't make accidents. We were created on purpose, therefore, it only makes sense that what His creations look like and act or function like were purposeful creations also. God is also not the author of confusion and so would not want His creatures confused. There are RIGHT and CLEAR answers, and when investigated, studied, and played out, make a beautiful, TRULY peaceful, and satisfactory (100% of the time) picture and life for all. THAT IS A GUARANTEE!

TO THE TUNE OF TEA (TUESDAYS)

Anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE TEA!! If you don't know me, you'll learn that I love to share what I know about tea, and I love giving tea to my friends as gifts or just sharing a cup. On Tuesdays, we'll share all things tea--tea knowledge, tea brewing tips, tea ware, tea history, tea poetry,...tea, cha, and more te. There are many more spellings and pronunciations for tea than just the last 3 by the way. Every country has its own.


Sit back now then, brew a 'cuppa', and join me while the tea-cha talks tea.


I've been hearing lately that the reason that more people don't enjoy green or white tea is because it's simply not tasty. They say that they've really tried to get into this supposedly "new" tea craze, but they just can't because, well...it just tastes downright watery! Who wants that?!! There are usually 3 reasons why people who have given up on drinking green or white tea, give it up. Usually there is too much water for the amount of loose or bagged tea you're making, whether one puts too much water in the cup on their own, or unknowledgeable tea packaging or processing companies put generic directions on the labeling that they think works for any kind of tea. Another possible reason is that the quality of the tea leaf (or "dustings" usually) is below average to poor, thereby rendering a really tasteless cup. There can be other really good reasons, like too short a steeping time also. These reasons can make the most determined tea seeker and newcomer to the world of tea seek something else to refresh themselves. I can't blame them. But don't give up!! There are solutions, ones that I think will make you happy and return to the wonderful world of tea consumption.


Although there are lots of companies and countries that produce great green tea, pure, loose-leaf, Japanese green tea delivers a really hearty, robust, unique taste in my opinion. The quality of tea really matters for taste and all teas are not created equal. If you don't believe me, try doing a taste test one day of different green teas from different areas, loose and bagged and you'll see for yourself. If you choose Japanese green tea for taste and strength, follow the directions for the amount of tea for a cup, the temperature of the water, and the amount of water to use. If you do, it promises to deliver. Steep only as directed. While it is not difficult to brew, following directions makes the difference between a weak cup, a scorched taste, a pungent (not ideal) cup, or the perfect cup. Don't be intimidated. With simple directions and your own discerning taste, you will soon be able to brew the perfect cup in your sleep if necessary:)!!


One more thing that can transform your cup of tea from boring to brilliant is the kind of sugar you use. While regular, refined white sugar is perfectly fine, raw sugar is better. In my humble opinion, it can literally transform, as I just mentioned, your cup of tea (or coffee for that matter). Raw sugar can also be called turbinado or demerara. It just depends on where it was produced, but it is closely related or, in some cases, the same. Some packaging will have it labeled as brown sugar, but do not confuse this crystal-shaped, tawny brown, beautiful sugar with the brown sugar in plastic bags or boxes that we love to bake with. Raw sugar retains, during the minimal processing this sugar undergoes, its natural molasses. This is what gives it its beautiful color and unique taste. Make two cups of the same kind of tea. Place them side by side and add white sugar to one and raw sugar to the other and see won't you taste the difference. Raw sugar costs slightly more than white and, you will need to use a little more of it because it's not refined, but it is worth it, and..., unless you'll be drinking tea all day, it will last you a while and you'll get your money's worth.


Try these tips and some of you may change your mind about permanently writing this wonderful beverage off. Let me know what you think. BTW, I get a lot of my J. Greens imported, straight from a tea farm in Japan (when it fits in the budget since it's not a necessity:)--Lord help me keep that in mind:) ), so I'd like to extend a little contest to you. Anybody that would like to enter can do so by just responding to this post and letting me know. If you just want to comment and would not like to enter the contest, go ahead, leave me a message and also let me know that you're not interested in entering. Anyone interested will be eligible to win a genuine, imported bag of one of my favorite J. Greens (Japanese Green tea) called Sencha Superior. My J. Greens come from the wonderful Hibiki-an. I haven't found a better green, although there surely may be ones out there. I will send you brewing directions for the perfect cup. You just have to promise to let me know whether you like it or not.


See you on next Tuesday to the tune of tea. (I actually didn't get to finish this post until Wednesday morning, but we'll do better next time:))

MY LITTLE DISCLAIMER

Just wanted my readers to know that they will now start seeing different ads on my blog. These ads are chosen totally by the internet ad company. I have no say so. They try and incoporate ads to a blog that match the content, interests, etc. of the blog and the blogger. They don't know us personally, so the ad may or may not reflect the thoughts, desires, or choices of this blogger. Thank you for tuning in to howdowegettherefromhere! :)

MOMMY(or Caregiver/Mentor) MONDAYS

Making Independent Children

Our natural tendency is to make our children totally dependent on us. After all, they are totally dependent on somebody when they're infants because human babies are more helpless when they come into this world than the babies of any other animal. They require so much of only what someone older than themselves can give. While that is a fact, where is the transition from total dependence to gradual independence? At what stage in their development does this or should this begin? There is no concrete answer for all, because obviously, that will depend on the maturity and abilities of each individual child. But, gradual independence, to whatever degree it can happen with the child, should happen.

Now don't get defensive moms. There is nothing wrong with providing for your child and there is nothing wrong with loving to do that. But, are we raising dependent future adults or independent ones? How that turns out, is dependent on what we do and when, and, what we don't do.

There is no book that tells us when to start "transitioning," but there doesn't need to be because of children's individuality. God gives us great discernment though, if we pay attention, and if we let go of our own need to keep our children as our babies for as long as we can. There is a reason I know what I'm talking about. I'm sure all of us have been guilty of this at one point or another in our quest to raise our children and "love them to death."

I can't tell you how this should be done for you and yours, but I do know that we should start paying attention, once our children are out of the infant stage, to what we're intentionally deciding to teach them, so that they become more and more independent of us as they grow. After all, most of them won't be with us long and we don't want to look at them as adults and wonder why they don't know how to spend God's money (or save it for that matter), why they don't know how to shop (for everything from groceries to a house), why they can't fill out an application for themselves, why they can't work through a decision -making process, and the list can go on and on. I know of children, even at 15, 16, & 17, who cannot separate laundry, let alone wash it, cook for themselves (have even burned water!:)), or answer a telephone properly. Now granted, some may simply not WANT to do these things, but I'm talking about children who CAN'T, that are physically and mentally capable.

There may be good reasons, such as the fact that we weren't taught these things ourselves, why we don't teach these independent living and thinking skills to our children. Some parents or caregivers though, DO know how but have decided that because they love their children so much, they will do it for them, sparing the child the harsh task of learning things and growing up; as if the child really won't ever grow up!! For those of you that don't have the skills, there is always someone out there who does. We all just have to start with the decision that what needs to be done will be done, some kind of way. Pray and ask God to help you look for mentors in the church or schools that you trust, who can come alongside you. You could all grow together. A perfect example that I have for this is I wanted to learn more about managing our finances better, so I took a Crown Financial Ministries class at church. I had not been taught very much about proper money management, investments, savings, etc. growing up and I really wanted to do this better. I learned a tremendous amount in this class and I wanted to make sure my children had good financial management too. I knew I would start to model this for them in the home, but I took it a step further for my growing teenagers. They introduced a Crown Financial Class for teens and I asked one of my teenage boys to sign up and explained why he should take it. He took the class and also learned a great deal. This will go a long way with him when he finally leaves our home to take care of himself.

I have to say that I've become more and more conscious of the need to transition my children from dependence to independence, as they can handle the different tasks and thinking skills. I have learned some lessons to get there, but the commitment to doing it pays off. There are no greater payments of teaching these very necessary things than pleasing God, whom these children really belong to (he entrusted His children to us to do more with than just call our own and spoil to death:)), and seeing them in situations where, because of God's grace and your efforts, they make a good decision and take care of themselves when you're around, but more importantly, when you're not. We don't recognize that we rob our children of learning and growing opportunities. God expects for us to teach the right and good things that we know to the next generation. They will reap the benefits later. We will see God use what they've learned to ultimately glorify Him, that is, if we TEACH them to do all things learned to or for the glory of God.

Teaching kids to be independent in a healthy way is what's important. Being independent in an unhealthy manner leaves God and His sufficiency out, and teaches pride and selfishness (the sense of growing up and not needing anybody and doing everything in our own power and strength). That is not the type of independence we're talking about in this post. That is a whole other subject.

I am happy to say that with much prayer, thought, and intentionality, I'm co-raising 4 children, who in 2008, can cook (2, quite well), do their own laundry, help clean house, iron their own clothes, and sometimes some of them can even "think" for themselves and make good decisions independent of me:)! These children aren't all girls either. We have 2 boys and 2 girls (ages 9, 12 1/2, 15, and 17 1/2) and they can all do everything listed above. This isn't bragging by the way. This is to show you what can happen with any of our kids as a result of prayer, thought, and intentionality. My kids aren't super kids or know-it-alls. I'm just grateful to God that they've received instruction to the above things well. We'll keep praying for them, and I hope you do too. We've got a ways to go still, but with the right thoughts in mind, we may be able to present to society and the world 4 God-fearing, healthy-independent children or adults.

HUMOR ME SUNDAYS

Okay guys, humor me! I'm brand new to this blogging thing and I know I don't have the most decorative and addictive blog out there, but have some pity on a girl!! Tell me something...SHARE, SHARE, SHARE!!

I've declared every Sunday to be "HUMOR ME SUNDAY." You have to give me your funniest clean joke, a comment to one of my posts (whatever is on your heart and mind about it), the coolest thing that happened in your world the previous week, something you're grateful for, something else wonderful on your heart, or something that you've learned, you'd like to share. HUMOR ME!!! I insist:)! This will be our only focus on Sundays, so you'll have something to look forward to. I can't wait to read everyone's post!

I'll start us off this Sunday.

I'm grateful for people,...people who have pity on small-time, amateur blog starters like me; pity enough that they decide to comment and cause a blog starter's days to come with a little more happiness and cheer! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?! Oh sorry, I got a little carried away. I'm humble:). I've got it together. Everything's all good! Okay, now YOUR TURN!